I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Randomize
