I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
Enjoy the penises
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
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