ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Randomize