meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
We're too hungover to prance.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
