that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
