I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
Randomize
