Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
