I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Randomize
