I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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