You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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