I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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