In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
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