a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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