The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Randomize
