He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
