This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
