I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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