are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize