new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Randomize
