He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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