After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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