All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
