So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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