think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
