drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
This is the prime rib incident all over again
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
Randomize
