sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
