I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Randomize