There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
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