I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
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