"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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