I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
