I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
