He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
