Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Randomize
