I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
