He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
The air was thick with penises
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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