this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
