i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
