i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
