you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
