Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
