C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
