I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
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