i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
