Don't you send me to vm
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize