sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
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