maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
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