My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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