I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize
