he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
