well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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