Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
Randomize
