im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
And then my night got REAL pukey
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
