Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
