I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
There r osticjed everywhere
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
