Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
