Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
