I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
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